Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We were destined to go to rehab together
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
