Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
