God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
