You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
