Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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