After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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