I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
