She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
