she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
