my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
