Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
