my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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