It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
