why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
