Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
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I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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