So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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