You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
