is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
