we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i've created a new STD.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
