I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have so many feelings about this burrito
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
