Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
