I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
