i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
