GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
