after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
