Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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