I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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