thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
