I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it was like having sex with a tree stump
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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