Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
