Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
