having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
