things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
