This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
