im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
last night I used snow as a chaser
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