i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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