I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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