using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
