I am in a vortex of obligation.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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