oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
