So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This house was built for laser tag.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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