just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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