she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
