That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
