Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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