I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize