I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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