Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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