So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
