dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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