hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
