When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
