you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
is it fun? or sober?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
