and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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