He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
