Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His hands were made for my vagina.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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