We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
