How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
