Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
