i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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