So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
