Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
