cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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