did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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