She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My dick has a subreddit
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
