u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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