i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
