Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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