Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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